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4 Ways to Lose Weight That Do NOT Work but Might Kill You

Featured, Science — By on February 14, 2012 12:00 am

Trimspa, Hydroxycut and Meridia

Trimspa worked for Anna-Nicole Smith, right? But then she died…(Too soon?). Trimspa is still available, but there are  concerns about its safety. Hydroxycut was pulled off of shelves for causing liver damage. Another problem with both pills is that they’re just a blend of caffeine, and a bunch of other ingredients to make you feel hyper so that you move around more. The best part about Hydroxycut was the commercials.  Hydroxycut Commercial from YouTube. As a result of their super-broad statements, the makers of the drug were sued in 2003 for false advertising. They lost.

Meridia was a bit more serious.  The FDA pulled the drug from shelves after its main ingredient, Sibutramine was shown to cause heart problems and risk of stroke—just like obesity. I can’t imagine that the company was doing so well to begin with if the drug came with a warning against using it if you have a history of heart problems. Don’t most morbidly obese people have a history of heart problems and a higher than normal risk of stroke? Just a thought.

Belts


There were the belt machines that would shake your fat away from the early days of health consciousness—although apparently not self-consciousness. Then came the electric shock belts that contracted your stomach muscles so you could do crunches all day without moving. There’s even a belt out there that just makes your stomach warmer so that, in theory, the extra heat melts away the fat. Sounds familiar—like a shirt.  I think burning fat from the outside is a bad idea. If you added tanning, it’s exactly the same thing as a pig roast.

Shake Weight


‘Nuff said. I guess it doesn’t kill you but it’s a pretty funny innuendo.

Parasites

Parasites

Yeah, tape worms–as a diet plan. In China, some websites got in trouble for selling roundworm eggs that could be potentially deadly.  The worms are illegal to intentionally eat or sell in the US (I can’t believe I’m writing this) but some websites sell them since they technically do eat fat.

So if ALL of those are bad ideas, what’s a guy to do to lose weight? The best way to lose weight quickly is easy and obvious—cut off a limb. If you want to lose weight safely and keep it off and retain use of your appendages, take your time and start eating less and better and move around.

-by David Mattera

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