The mouse finally wins and I assume he has thumbs too…Cute graffiti in any case.

I love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Donatello was always my favorite. Even when Eastman & Laird first created them they weren’t really threatening even though they killed a lot of bad guys ninja-style. But they still have a cute quality about them. Well, not this time. Donatello looks to be out for blood and this mutated turtle in his teens looks as bad-ass as you can get. Nice job by the supremely talented Mr. Rapoza.

Here is the cover of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that stared the whole shell-shocking craze.

Chewbacca from Star Wars as a Baby! So Cute!

In 1832, the first public land in the world was protected by President Jackson, in the area surrounding present-day Hot Springs National Park in Arkansas. In 1864, the land now known as Yosemite National Park was similarly protected by President Lincoln. In 1872, the world’s first National Park—Yellowstone—was formed under Theodore Roosevelt’s presidency. The Yellowstone area was in a U.S. territory at the time (not governed by a state), so the federal government addressed the need to protect Yellowstone’s unique landscape and resources, while providing a tourist attraction along the Northern-Pacific Railroad route through Montana.

Today, there are over 7000 National Parks and other protected public areas around the world. In the United States, Yosemite and Yellowstone National Parks remain some of the more infamous parks, as the third and fourth most frequently visited national parks (The Great Smokey Mountains and Grand Canyon National Parks are the first and second most visited parks). Following are some of the least visited national parks in the U.S. due to their remote locations, but all are well-worth getting to for their uniqueness and isolation.

Kobuk Valley National Park, Alaska

It’s no surprise that many of the least-visited national parks are in Alaska. The remote Kobuk Valley is the least-visited national park of them all, probably in part because there is no road access to the area: one must take a chartered flight from either Kotzebue or Bettles, Alaska. Once there, the Kobuk Valley is well worth the trip. The park boasts three sand dune areas that make up the world’s largest arctic dunes, where summer temps can reach over 100°F just 40 miles from the arctic circle. Half a million caribou migrate through the dunes and the Kobuk River each year, providing necessary food to native tribes.

Gates of the Arctic, Alaska

Not only is Gates of the Arctic National Park the northernmost national park (north of the arctic circle), it is also the only national park with no facilities, providing a wilderness-survival experience to visitors. Like Kobuk Valley, there are no roads in or around the park, which can be accessed by air-taxi at several locations. Alaska’s Dalton Highway comes within five miles of the park’s eastern boarder for those who want to hike in, but whether hiking or flying, visitors must carry with them all the gear and supplies they need to survive. The park protects parts of the Brooks Range and provides land to native tribes that inhabit the area.

Isle Royale, Michigan

Isle Royale National Park includes the 207 square-mile island named Isle Royale and over 400 smaller surrounding islands in Michigan’s Lake Superior. Isle Royale is Lake Superior’s largest island the third largest island in the country. The island is accessible only by boat, plane, or ferry, and there is no drinking water available. The park has a plethora of hiking trails and campgrounds, but many of these are only accessible from the water. Scuba divers willing to brave the cold waters can explore shipwrecks protected by the park. There are only 18 mammal species on the island, but these include moose and wolves. The wolves in the park are part of the longest running predator-prey mammal study in the country.

American Samoa, Samoan Islands

American Samoa is the southernmost U.S. territory made up of several islands in the Samoan Islands Chain in the South Pacific Ocean. American Samoa National Park was established primarily to protect the area’s natural resources, but the park also provides a unique experience to visitors. It is one of the more recently established national parks—still relatively undiscovered by the general public—and the only U.S. national park south of the equator. The mountainous islands include a diverse ecosystem of rainforests and coral reefs. Of the park’s 10,500 acres, 2,550 are under water, and visitors to the park can enjoy a variety of activities, such as beachwalking, hiking, scuba diving, and snorkeling.

Dry Tortugas, Florida Keys

Dry Tortugas National Park is located 70 miles west of Key West and comprises seven islands and their surrounding coral reefs and waters. The islands were discovered by explorer Juan Ponce De Leon, whose ships were surrounded by turtles (Tortugas) and found the islands had no fresh water (dry). The park’s main attraction is Fort Jefferson, one of the world’s largest marine forts, while snorkeling is the most popular activity with a giant coral reef and several shallow shipwrecks just feet from Fort Jefferson. Scuba diving, fishing, island hopping, and camping are some of the other main activities offered. Visitors to Key West can ferry to Dry Tortugas for the day, and while the park is only open during the day, overnight camping on the water is available in a small campground.

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Transvestites should not be confused with transsexuals. A transsexual is one who takes on the identity of the opposite sex, either through a sex change or by living as a member of the opposite sex. A transvestite chooses to dress in the clothing of the opposite sex, but does not necessarily identify his or herself as a member of the opposite sex. A transvestite is also not necessarily a homosexual; transvestites often favor heterosexual partners. They simply prefer to wear the clothing of the opposite sex, for whatever reason.

Bonny and Read

Sure, we’ve all heard of Bonnie and Clyde, but what about Bonny and Read? Anne Bonny and Mary Read were women who cross-dressed as pirates on the Revenge in the late 1600s. Bonny was not originally a cross-dressing pirate—she married a pirate and worked on her husband’s crew. It wasn’t until Read later joined the same crew and Bonny developed a secret crush on “him” that Read was forced to reveal to Bonny her identity as a woman. Both women began posing as male pirates and hiding their identities as females. When the Revenge was eventually captured, Bonny and Read were allowed to live longer than the rest of their crew because both women claimed to be pregnant (only Bonny was).

George Sand

19^th Century French novelist George Sand was a woman who took on both the pen name and clothing style of a man. Born as Amantine Aurore Lucile Dupin, the Baroness claimed that she preferred men’s clothing because they were more comfortable, practical, and sturdier than women’s clothing of the era. Her cross-dressing allowed her luxuries typically unavailable to women at the time, such smoking in public and admission to events and venues where only men were welcome. Her masculine pen name contributed to her becoming the first well-known female French novelist.

Shi Pei Pu

Male Chinese spy Shi Pei Pu posed as a woman and maintained a 20-year sexual relationship with French diplomat Bernard Boursicot while stealing government secrets from him all along. Boursicot never discovered that Shi Pei Pu was a man until the men were caught and convicted of espionage in 1986. Boursicot was so devastated and embarrassed to learn his lover was a man, he slit his throat (but lived). This story became the basis for David Henry Hwang’s 1988 play M. Butterfly, and the 1993 David Cronenberg film by the same name. In the play/film versions, the Chinese spy performs in the Peking opera as a woman, and uses this disguise to seduce the French Diplomat (in real life, Shi Pei Pu became a male opera singer after he was pardoned).

Billy Tipton

Depression-era jazz performer Billy Tipton was really a woman named Dorothy Lucille Tipton who began performing as a man in the 1930s and later living as a man in both public and private life in the 1940s. Tipton began dressing in male clothing on stage to better blend in with other performers and to help advance her career as a performance musician—a career mainly limited to men at the time. During her life as a man, Tipton had several long-term sexual relationships with women, none of whom knew that he was really a woman. Over time, Tipton had hidden his true identity from everyone he knew, and his secret was finally discovered by his wife and their three adopted sons when he died in 1989.

Edward D. Wood Jr.

Ed Wood finally earned his claim to fame after his death in 1978 when he was voted “The Worst Director of All Time” and his 1950s horror films gained a cult-status following. Wood’s transvestism was also the subject of his first film, Glen or Glenda?, which doubles as a loose biography of his early adult life. Wood frequently wore women’s undergarments under his clothes, including while in combat in WWII, giving rise to the term “underdressing.” He also had an angora sweater fetish and a tendency to appear on the set to direct in full drag. Wood was a heterosexual and a womanizer in his younger years, but he later married a woman who didn’t mind him borrowing her sweaters once in a while. Wood gained even more notoriety when he became the subject of the 1995 Tim Burton film Ed Wood.

Divine

Harris Glenn Milstead is better known as Divine, his alter-ego, drag persona, and stage name. He is also known as part of Baltimore cult-director John Waters’s entourage, starring in many of Waters’s films. His final performance was in Waters’s 1988 film Hairspray, in which he played both the female character Edna Turnblad and the male character Arvin Hodgepile. Divine died suddenly the week after Hairspray was released, but his legacy lives on in both the Broadway play and 2007 musical film: in all performances of Hairspray, it is customary for Edna Turnblad to be played by a man in drag.

ed note:  Modern Transvestite Extraordinaire:

Executive Transvestite

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while this is certainly amusing, in the back of your head you are thinking to yourself, this lion would maul and devour this human infant in a second if there wasn’t any glass there. I find this disturbing, yet I chuckle at the insanity of it all. And why dress your baby like a zebra? To taught the lioness?

1. The Gold Bathroom In Hong Kong

You certainly won’t top the bathroom at the Hang Fung Gold Technology jewelry store in Hong Kong.  This custom-made room features a pair of 900-lb solid gold toilets, gold sink fixtures and a matching gold sink, gold artwork and tiles on the walls, and a gold ceiling. The room cost nearly $5 million to construct and is a popular tourist attraction. If you need to use the golden facilities, you’ll need to buy gold (at least $128 worth) in the store.

2. The Gold Porsche In Russia

Unlike the bathroom in Hong Kong, the Gold Porsche in Russia isn’t quite as – well – gold.  The car, which is a working model, is covered in about 40 pounds of gold. The gold covers every exterior metal surface of the vehicle, including the exhaust pipe. Inside, you’ll find gold floor mats that enhance an otherwise standard interior. A novel way to buy gold for your investment portfolio!

3. The Gold Bicycle in Sweden

If a gold Porsche isn’t your style, consider tooling around town on this gold bicycle. This flashy gold and crystal number will set you back about USD$100,000 but you will certainly be the talk of the town.  Your new ride comes with a leather Brooks saddle and Swarovski crystals for good measure.  Aurumania, the manufacturer of the bike issued only 10 of these bikes, so even if the price of gold drops, the value of the bike as a collector’s item will certainly rise.

4. The Gold iPhone in London

If you haven’t spent enough on the data plan for your iPhone, you might consider upgrading to an iPhone made of gold.  These 24k versions of the iPhone will keep you polishing both sides of your mobile for months to come.  In all fairness, the iPhone in question is gold-plated, but you can pick one up for a cool USD$2,000.

5. The Gold iPad in London

As long as you’re buying gold in London (and if you’re into Apple stuff) check out the Stuart Hughes gold iPad. (It will match your gold iPhone above.)  The iPad is a standard issue Apple iPad that wears a 22k solid gold case.  Not special enough?  Would it seal the deal if the Apple logo were adorned with 53 flawless diamonds? It can be yours for about USD$190,000.

6. Gold Pencils in Korea

If the rest of the items on this list are out of your price range, consider a gold-plated Number 2 pencil for just $20.  Korean designer Daisung Kim is hoping to make math class just a little more interesting by mixing graphite and gold.

7. The Gold Beer Mug in Japan

If you think you can’t use “classy” and “beer mug” in the same sentence, then you should think again!  Ginza Tanaka, Japan’s premiere jeweler is offering an 850 mg beer mug that’s loaded with all the class you can chug.  Your new best friend will set you back about $50,000 but you’re sure to impress your friends for at least the first few rounds.

8. The Gold Coffin in Italy

Who says you can’t take it with you? Art Funeral Italy whipped up a one-of-a-kind casket made of 24-karat gold and displayed it at the 2010 Verona Luxury and Yacht Show.  If the casket itself isn’t odd enough, it also comes with a gold-plated touch screen cell phone that’s meant to accompany the dearly departed.

In 2005, photojournalist Pieter Hugo saw a cellphone pic of a group of men in Lagos, Nigeria walking down the street with chained hyenas. The picture intrigued him enough to track them down and eventually go visit them…

In Abuja we found them living on the periphery of the city in a shantytown – a group of men, a little girl, three hyenas, four monkeys and a few rock pythons. It turned out that they were a group of itinerant minstrels, performers who used the animals to entertain crowds and sell traditional medicines. The animal handlers were all related to each other and were practicing a tradition passed down from generation to generation. I spent eight days traveling with them.

Hugo says reactions to his work have ranged from the same curiosity he originally felt to outright revulsion — must often revulsion at the treatment of the animals. But…

When I asked Nigerians, “How do you feel about the way they treat animals”, the question confused people. Their responses always involved issues of economic survival. Seldom did anyone express strong concern for the well-being of the creatures.

Europeans invariably only ask about the welfare of the animals but this question misses the point. Instead, perhaps, we could ask why these performers need to catch wild animals to make a living. Or why they are economically marginalized. Or why Nigeria, the world’s sixth largest exporter of oil, is in such a state of disarray.

via 22 words,

Read the whole story from Pieter Hugo.

coupons?

So with this onslaught of zombie stuff, why (oh why indeed?) would I choose to write a post about zombies?  Well, because it’s close to Halloween, because I still love zombie movies, and because I know a few things about zombies that you don’t know.  And I think you should.  Keep in mind that the zombies that I know about are not the ones that are created by boko – they are the ones created by a disastrous chemical event, or a deadly zombie-making virus.  Just so we’re clear.

Zombies are Hungry

I know what you’re thinking.  OF COURSE zombies are hungry.  They chase after people to try to eat their flesh and brains.  What I’m telling you is that zombies are REALLY hungry.  Think of the hungriest you’ve ever been, and then multiply that by, like, fifteen gazillion.  THAT’S how hungry zombies are.  So, if you were that hungry, wouldn’t you consider, even for a second, eating brains?  You say no now, but you’ve never been as hungry as a zombie, have you?  Didn’t think so.  So don’t go judging, OK?

Zombies Need Love Too

Didn’t you ever see Cemetery Man, My Boyfriend’s Back, Zombie Strippers, and Fido?  There you go.  Zombies aren’t always all apocalypsey and angsty.   Sometimes they’re just a little misunderstood.  Johnny Dingle loved Missy McCloud so much that he came back from the dead as a zombie to be with her.  That’s devotion, people.  And if he had to eat some human flesh to do it?  Well, in the immortal words of Meatloaf, he “would do anything for love.”  And Fido, all he wanted was a family to accept him and love him.  And that’s certainly the most realistic zombie movie ever, because if a zombie is around, the Republicans will find a way to make money off of it.

Zombies Can Feel Pain

Emotional pain, that is.  Like when you run away from them.  Why are you doing that?  Don’t you know that they just want to eat your brains?  And they’re so hungry; why wouldn’t you let them eat your brains?  They also feel pain every time they hear Thriller, and every time Andy Dick gets a movie role.

As for physical pain…it’s no thing.  No pain receptors, no working nerve endings.  Remember that when you’re hacking away at them for your very life.

Some Zombies are Smarter Than Others

N’uff said.

This list could, honestly, go on and on.  Not to mention all the OTHER types of zombies out there – zombie pets, zombie ninjas, zombie bugs, and zombie monkeys ala Pirates of the Caribbean – but I think we’ve given you enough here that you can develop a little bit of tolerance for these misunderstood, albeit bloodthirsty creatures.  After all, they didn’t ask to be zombies any more than you asked to be the type of person who would read this post to the very end.

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To top it all off, some people have actually been willing to interview Mr. Krueger.  Here is a transcription of each interview, for your inspection.

Job:  Pediatric Burn Victim Counselor

Interviewer:  Barbara Blake-Barns

Barbara Blake-Barns: Mr Krueger, I see you have applied for the Pediatric Burn Victim Counselor position.  This is just a screening process so I will ask you a few questions.

Freddy: Ask away, Barbie.  I can call you Barbie, can’t I? (caresses her cheek with one blunt side of knife fingernail)

Barbara Blake-Barns: Eek.  Those are some fingers you’ve got there.  You won’t be wearing them around the children will you?  Of course you won’t!  Let’s get on with the questions, shall we?

Obviously I see you have experience as a burn victim, how will your experiences relate to the traumatized children you would be working with?

Freddy: My children…from the very beginning, it was the children who gave me my power.

Barbara Blake-Barns: Excuse me?  Oh, I see.  Being a burn victim yourself, you take strength from helping children who have been through the same experience.  Is that what you mean?

Freddy: Yeah.  Something like that.

Barbara Blake-Barns: Your resume states that you interpret dreams, that can be very useful in this line of work, can you give me an example of a prior interpretation?

Freddy: I wouldn’t say that I interpret dreams so much as influence them.  Which could come in handy, right?

Barbara Blake Barns: Exactly how are you able to “influence” (actually does air quotes) dreams?

Freddy: (laughing)  The dream people.  The ones that gave me this job.  In dreams…I am forever!  Too bad you’re not…

Barbara Blake Barns: (looks uncomfortable) Where do you see yourself in the next 5-10 years?

Freddy: I don’t know about 5-10 years, but I know that right now I have some pretty fun plans…Filet de Barbie!

*interview over*

Job:  Landscape Architect

Interviewer:  Jerry Ray Redman

Jerry Ray Redman: Damn son!  What the hell happened to your face?

Freddy: Well, see, first they tried burning me.

Jerry Ray Redman: Who burned you?

Freddy: Does it matter?  This boy feels the need for speed!  Er…the need for precise and thorough landscape architecture.

Jerry Ray Redman: Are you a US Citizen, or at least have a Green Card?

Freddy: Oh sure.

Jerry Ray Redman: Do you have reliable transportation?  How do you drive with those things on your hands?  Are you willing to maybe wear a ski mask or a bag on your head?  I’m afraid you might scare off the customers.  Don’t get me wrong, Son.  I don’t discriminate just because you’re ugly as homemade sin, but…

the closest freddy would come to this job

*interview cut off because Freddy eviscerates Jerry Ray Redman.  Freddy is sensitive about being called ugly*

Job:  Male Model/Hand Model

Interviewer:  Jaegar Von Der Slaughter

Jaegar Von Der Slaugher: Hello,l texture!  Hello, intrigue!  Hello, retro sweater!  You!  You are beautiful man!  You’re hired!  You will be the face, the hand, the LOOK for my new line – Horrifique!  Do you know any special skills?  Have any special talents we can incorporate into the runway show or the photo shoots?

Freddy: *grins*