Trolling through the news, some gems that might amuse…
Our Sofa Seats the Whole Mob and It’s 100% Italian Leather Too!
This was an advertizing mistake for a furniture store which fortunately had no connections with the Godfather or the mafia. Still, it shows just what can happen when a writer is focused on his creative object and forgets to see the wood for the trees.
Before you are made an offer you can’t refuse – say, no money down and interest free for 5 years on a concrete overcoat – take a look at some more headlines and ad men bloopers which must have created red faces and smirks galore.
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
The Falkland Islands are a wind swept British colony off the coast of Argentina in the South Atlantic. In 1982, Argentina invaded the islands they called “Las Malvinas”, sparking Britain’s last colonial war. Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher dispatched a heavily armed task force to retake the Falkland Islands, to the consternation of the left wing political parties in the UK.
In this instance, a “waffle” is not some Belgian breakfast food served up at IHOP by one-legged waitresses, but instead is Britspeak for procrastination. It will take more than maple syrup to deal with what the Argentineans left behind after being thrown off the islands by the waffling Brits – thousands of unexploded mines without any maps showing where they are.
Lost: Small Apricot Poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family
Obviously someone wasn’t thinking straight when they were trying to find Fido, but this just underscores the fun you can have with the English language. On the other hand, perhaps this is entirely accurate – neutering a pet produces similar results for men upon marriage – they tend to sleep a lot, get fat and become submissive.
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
When is a third world dictator not looking for arms?
Then again, this newspaper headline would be equally at home in the lonely hearts columns for single limbs.
March Planned For Next August
The Ides of March may be arriving a lot later in the year than initially expected, or maybe there has been another change in the calendar? The change in calendars from the Julian (or Roman calendar) to the Gregorian or Christian calendar was brought about to deal with the drifting seasons – because the earth doesn’t revolve around the sun in exactly 365 days, all the seasons started arriving earlier.
This headline ought to have “March Planned for Last August” to be 100% accurate.
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
An unfortunate turn of phrase, however with America’s population expanding in more ways than one, the researchers behind this headline should not have to look too far.
Patient At Death’s Door-Doctors Pull Him Through
A warning note for anyone concerned about doctors and their hands in your life. Of course, the big medical issue of the moment is Obamacare and the compulsory purchase of medical insurance across the board. Still, returning full circle to our original waffle headline, you could find yourself in the same position as this patient who “Had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.”
- Visual Issues (printdesigntips.com)
- The Best Sites For Pink Floyd Fans (verybestsites.com)
- Falkland Islands: Argentina starts ‘squid war’ (dailymail.co.uk)